pour me a glass of wine...better yet the whole bottle

I know I know it's been a while since I've posted last and 100% my fault. Life's been crazy hectic to say the least and it has taken over what little spare time I have.

Anyways Im pretty sure that since I had yesterday off from work today is my official Monday. It has been everything a typical Monday brings including all of the stress and headache. I have been taking two summer classes online and instead of the typical 6-8 week shortened class mine are 12 and 16 weeks long. For once in my life I feel as if I am on top of my massive amounts of homework but yet I still find myself feeling as if I have a million other things to accomplish. 

Sometimes I just feel like I need to be super woman accomplishing a million tasks and succeeding at them all. I try to stay on top of everything as well as keep on top of everything Jason has going on and then I'll get to a point such as tonight where I crumble and feel as if I am only one person. I work during the week, I go to school with homework that must be accomplished each day, I try to plan the future, I have to plan a wedding, I have to keep on top of Jason and get him in the steps of purchasing a home, I try to keep up on things for us to do such as Tigers games, Loons games, going up north, etc. I feel like I have to do all of this because Jason is always at work especially during the summer time and then he brings his work home with him and he can't ever remember anything I tell him. For example I had yesterday off of work so we could go to Mackinaw City/Island Sunday-Monday, but we didn't end up going because Jason forgot about it. 

So how does one become super woman? How does one accomplish being a student in order to finish their degree, work for a company, plan a wedding, keep on top of activities, keep on top of bills & make sure they get paid, and still make time for their selves in order to feel good???  Sometimes I feel I am a complete failure at it all, it swirls in my brain all at once to where I can't concentrate...and then other times I feel as if I am on top of the world and I can accomplish it all.

In other words we have a little bit of excitement to get us through the rest of this chaotic week. We found a house that we are in love with so far...AND...were going to go look at it with a realtor on Saturday once I get out of work...Fingers Crossed!

Our Florida Vacation

Two weeks ago we took a family vacation to Florida and we had a great time. We truly enjoyed ourselves going to Disney, watching the Tigers for spring training, laying by the pool, shopping, and so much more! Here's some highlights from our vacation in pictures. 

On our way to Disney!

Love Jason's new chef hat

Our pins we got at Disney...."Just Engaged"

We had such a great day at the happiest place on earth

Day Two: Spring Training for the Tigers

and boy was it HOT out!

Sadly they lost but we all had such a great time!

 Wednesday consisted of us laying around the pool with lots of drinks and playing bingo.

And I won Bingo!!

 After our pool day we headed to Orlando to meet up with my Aunt Connie and cousin Kim at Senor Frogs. 

What a fun time we had drinking, dancing, and getting fun balloon hats!

THURSDAY:

It was a rainy day so the boys (my dad, Eric, and Jason) went off to the gun range to do some shooting and the rest of us went off to find the malls and had a very successful day of shopping.

Friday we went and had a little fun at Downtown Disney

We made Bailey some Mickey ears. ate at an Irish pub, and did some more shopping!

The 2014 High School graduates

And the 2014 college graduate

SATURDAY: 

It was finally time to get back in the car and endure the long drive home. Although we were looking forward to being back in our own beds we were not looking forward to the bitter cold we had to return to. Hopefully spring will come soon!!

So long Florida....Until next time!!!

A Valentine's Weekend

Happy Valentine's 

I hope that everyone had a fantastic valentine's weekend. Ours was equally fantastic and I had a great time spending it with family, friends and a lot of alone time. 

Friday

Valentine's Day

A clean house

Dinner with my fiance

Bowling

Good times with good friends

Hot tub 

Saturday

Shopping

Outback for lunch

More time with good friends

Sunday

Baby shower

More shopping

Mother/Daughter bonding

Family time

Our steal of the weekend for Bailey! All brand new from target for $14

Bailey playing with her Valentine's stickers 

Weekend Recap....More Like Life Recap

It's been so long since I wrote last time has just flown by and life has been crazy busy with school and work. Last time I wrote I talked about my doctors appointment in which I would undergo surgery for endometriosis. Well I had my surgery a week ago today (last Friday) and it was a lot more complicated than we had anticipated. 

I honestly thought that I had been exaggerating on my pain that I was always experiencing. I thought that I had to exaggerate on it just to get a doctor to go ahead with the surgery and get some answers. I was always hearing Jason tell me that I couldn't take pain or I was a wuss. When my doctor came out to talk to Jason and my mom after my surgery she informed them that it was the worst case of endometriosis that she had ever seen in someone my age. She said she wasnt sure how I was walking around with the pain I was experiencing.  Jason then asked her what my chances of ever getting pregnant would be he knew that was the first thing that I would want to know when waking up. My doctor said that she tried her best to cauterize all of the endometriosis but she suspected that it was growing in my tubes and they were clogged in which there was nothing she could do for that. She informed Jason and my mom that before this surgery I had a zero percent chance of ever getting pregnant and I know only have a 10 percent chance. 

Lets face it this isnt at all what I expected to happen with this surgery. I thought I would go through with it and the problem would be taken care of no more pain all better. I guess that just wasn't the case. Ive had my moments over the past week in which it gets hard for me to think about, I wouldnt wish this on anyone. I have to go back for a follow up appointment in which I will find out what she suggests for my options and course of action to take. It will be a long road and no one said it will be easy but everything will be ok, there's a plan out there for everyone. 

Anyways for the past week I've been taking it easy, I'm finally starting to go stir crazy. The first couple days I was extremely sore and nautious, and no one ever warns you about the gas bubbles that may get stuck in your shoulder which are a pain...literally PAINFUL...but Im healing overall pretty well with my three small incisions and I'll be back to normal activity Monday and back to work!  Goodnight & happy Friday 

My Struggles

Monday was the day that I have been waiting for for a very long time. It was the moment in which determined how my future will help to play out. Monday was the day that I finally had my first OB appointment in which I scheduled over three months ago. NOW before you all get excited and thinking that I am expecting this is NOT true. Let me back track....about a year...

Around a year ago I started experiencing very sharp pains in my lower abdomen. Pain so extreme at times that I find myself laying in bed in the fetal position. At one point in time I had even gone to the emergency room the pain was so bad, unfortunately they didn't even do any tests only sent me home with some medication for the pain. Over the summer I had made a series of appointments with my doctor to address this ongoing pain. The doctor came to the idea that I may have potential endometriosis. She sent me for blood work and an ultrasound all of which came back fine and after that everything came to a halt for a while. 

This past fall I finally decided to make the move and make an apt with an OB whom my mom recommended to me. I had had enough of going in circles with this and I wanted some answers. If you know about endometriosis then you know that there are different spectrums of it. You may have very little of it and have severe pain or you may have a lot it and have very little pain, some women are able to have children, some have difficulties and it may take them years, and other women are unable to have children. There are no real "cures" for this most times doctors will recommend birth control because the hormones can alleviate the pain, but since I have already been on this for several years this is not necessarily an option for me. The only real way to find out if you have this is to have laporscopic surgery in which they may scrape it out and remove it altogether as well. 

Anyways.... I got sick of playing the waiting game. I cant tell you how many the fact of just not knowing got to me and got me down. I wanted answers. I wanted to know if I would ever know what is wrong. I wanted to know if I would have to take motrin forever just to take care of the pain. Jason and I plan on spending the rest of our lives together and I wanted to know if there was a chance that we were ever going to be able to have children together. Do we have a chance at all? Will it be difficult? There was a point in time where I felt he may leave if we couldnt have children, I knew he wanted more, I knew he wanted Bailey to have brothers and sisters. I would get so discouraged that there were girls out there who could get pregnant no problem with people they did not even care about and did not even want the pregnancy. I got upset that people out there could have something so special that they could take for granted so much and here I am not knowing if I may ever have that for myself. 

Monday was a great step in this direction. I found a great doctor who finally understands everything that I am going through. Without a question she set up for me to have the surgery coming up here soon. And with her assurance once she does the surgery it should take care of the problem if not permanently for a while and it will help increase my chances of having babies. I can finally say it's not something that I want to cry about and throw my phone across the room. Instead its something that I can smile about and I cant wait to see what comes next in this long road for me. 

A & J Year 2013

2013 has officially come to a close, its a new year and 2014 has begun. Before I get started on how the past year has gone over for us I'd like to let you all in on our finale of 2013 and our BIG Christmas surprise.....SO EVERYONE....

Yes I said that correctly, Jason asked me to marry him on Christmas day and I of course said YES! We are very thrilled to announce this news and have kept it somewhat on low key only to share with our closest family members and friends first. For all of those who may ask it was not some big event where everyone was there. Instead it was low key, Jason waited until the Christmas festivities had come to a close and we were alone in our home having a heart to heart when he got on one knee and asked me to spend the rest of his life with him being his wife. We are now on our path to wedding planning and it will be a slow one but dont you worry, I will keep everyone updated on everything as it progresses. 

The gorgeous ring ;)

With 2013 at a close Jason and I have been through a lot over the past year as well as I myself. We have known each other for over a year now while dating for less than a year, and I find it amazing at how much a year can change your whole life. I have gone from going through a bad relationship and divorce in the beginning of 2013 to becoming the finance of someone that I truly love and support at the end. I have been through ups as well as downs and I have learned from each and every one of them whether it be good or bad. I have grown as a person 

Our Year In Review:

January through March were hard months for me, I was going through a divorce that I only wanted over. My parents and I were on a rough patch, they didn't know how to talk to me about it and I was only pushing them away more and more on a daily basis. I had Jason on my side there for me to lean on but no one understood that either, I felt alone and lost with no where to go. 

Come spring time things started to get better, Jason had asked me to be his girlfriend at the end of March, I started to gradually get closer with my parents and rebuild burnt bridges. I moved back to my parents and things were still very rough with them, I became close with Jason's family and the took me in as their own family without thinking twice. 

I met Bailey for the first time in April right before my birthday. She instantly stole my heart and I quickly became her "Audi" someone she can play with, laugh with, and cuddle with. From then on we became somewhat of a little family, I looked forward to planning things for us to do on her weekends. We went to the zoo, took Bentley to the park, played outside. 

Things got hard for a while in June, it was hard to watch a family being torn apart, and I found myself brokenhearted as well. We stuck through it as a family and came out on the other side only stronger. 

Jason and I also had quite the summer keeping our relationship growing, everything we do together we manage to have a blast. Some of our highlights for the summer were his birthday, a wedding we went to, three Detroit Tigers games, up north, 4th of July, Silver Lake, and our last trip to Chicago. We have grown closer as a couple as well as have made new lifelong friendships with people. 

Fall was a much smoother transition compared to earlier in the year, Jason changed jobs and I started back up at school. Making time for each other wasn't always easy but we managed to get the job done. We took Bailey Johnson Pumpkin Farm where she picked over all of the pumpkins and saw lots of animals. We also took her to the children's zoo for trick or treating twice. 

These past few months with the holidays have been hectic but they also have been monumental for us as well. Jason has been working non stop with all of the snow that we have gotten lately which makes me feel like a "winter widow" but we secretly love it. After Thanksgiving we moved into our own apartment, I got a big girl job at Morley and finished my fall semester of college. Christmas came and went and we were able to spend it with all of our family as well as seeing Christmas through Bailey's eyes. 

And our big news of the year....WE GOT ENGAGED!! 

It's amazing how one year can have so many up's and down's. 2013 had moments that I will learn from, moments I will not miss, and moments that I will always hold close to my heart. If it wasn't for the down's I may have never got to experience the many up's that we had. We have grown as a couple and as a family. I have grown to be a daughter to the Carlson's as well as Jason has grown to be like a son to my parents. I would not have changed anything over the past year for the world it has helped me develop as a person and I can not wait to see what 2014 has in store for us. 

End Table Makeover

Moving out on our own has been a bit of a challenge financially. With me not really working and Jason in the process of being laid off for the winter we were on a VERY TIGHT budget. With this tight budget I decided to put my pinterest ideas to work and I chose to take what we could get....because lets face it FREE is BEST and beggers can't be choosers...and I decided to try my hand at repurposing old furniture.

Jason's aunt gave us two really old end tables that had seen better days and used my handy work to give them round two at life. 

Here is my step by step instructions and what you will need!

Supplies Used:

your old piece of furniture

Kilz spray primer (approx: 3)

Krylon spray paint (approx 2-3)

~color used khaki gloss~

Behr faux glaze (1 qt can be used for many projects)

Sample of black paint to mix in with your faux glaze

New handles

Step One: Prime entire piece of furniture with kilz primer. We used about two coats just to make sure we covered everything. 

Afterwards let completely dry

Step Two: Use your Krylon spray paint and cover thoroughly we did 2-3 coats. Make sure you let dry in between each coat. 

Step Three: Mix your faux glaze with your sample of black paint into a bowl. Paint on with a brush making sure to get into cracks, this will give the cool effect your looking for. Afterwards wipe off with a damp cloth. By doing so it will leave the faux glaze in the crevices only. 

Let completely dry when finished. 

Here is what our piece looked like afterwards. We added new handles since the ones that came with were junk. We also ended up spraying the tiles on top white.