pour me a glass of wine...better yet the whole bottle

I know I know it's been a while since I've posted last and 100% my fault. Life's been crazy hectic to say the least and it has taken over what little spare time I have.

Anyways Im pretty sure that since I had yesterday off from work today is my official Monday. It has been everything a typical Monday brings including all of the stress and headache. I have been taking two summer classes online and instead of the typical 6-8 week shortened class mine are 12 and 16 weeks long. For once in my life I feel as if I am on top of my massive amounts of homework but yet I still find myself feeling as if I have a million other things to accomplish. 

Sometimes I just feel like I need to be super woman accomplishing a million tasks and succeeding at them all. I try to stay on top of everything as well as keep on top of everything Jason has going on and then I'll get to a point such as tonight where I crumble and feel as if I am only one person. I work during the week, I go to school with homework that must be accomplished each day, I try to plan the future, I have to plan a wedding, I have to keep on top of Jason and get him in the steps of purchasing a home, I try to keep up on things for us to do such as Tigers games, Loons games, going up north, etc. I feel like I have to do all of this because Jason is always at work especially during the summer time and then he brings his work home with him and he can't ever remember anything I tell him. For example I had yesterday off of work so we could go to Mackinaw City/Island Sunday-Monday, but we didn't end up going because Jason forgot about it. 

So how does one become super woman? How does one accomplish being a student in order to finish their degree, work for a company, plan a wedding, keep on top of activities, keep on top of bills & make sure they get paid, and still make time for their selves in order to feel good???  Sometimes I feel I am a complete failure at it all, it swirls in my brain all at once to where I can't concentrate...and then other times I feel as if I am on top of the world and I can accomplish it all.

In other words we have a little bit of excitement to get us through the rest of this chaotic week. We found a house that we are in love with so far...AND...were going to go look at it with a realtor on Saturday once I get out of work...Fingers Crossed!

Our Florida Vacation

Two weeks ago we took a family vacation to Florida and we had a great time. We truly enjoyed ourselves going to Disney, watching the Tigers for spring training, laying by the pool, shopping, and so much more! Here's some highlights from our vacation in pictures. 

On our way to Disney!

Love Jason's new chef hat

Our pins we got at Disney...."Just Engaged"

We had such a great day at the happiest place on earth

Day Two: Spring Training for the Tigers

and boy was it HOT out!

Sadly they lost but we all had such a great time!

 Wednesday consisted of us laying around the pool with lots of drinks and playing bingo.

And I won Bingo!!

 After our pool day we headed to Orlando to meet up with my Aunt Connie and cousin Kim at Senor Frogs. 

What a fun time we had drinking, dancing, and getting fun balloon hats!

THURSDAY:

It was a rainy day so the boys (my dad, Eric, and Jason) went off to the gun range to do some shooting and the rest of us went off to find the malls and had a very successful day of shopping.

Friday we went and had a little fun at Downtown Disney

We made Bailey some Mickey ears. ate at an Irish pub, and did some more shopping!

The 2014 High School graduates

And the 2014 college graduate

SATURDAY: 

It was finally time to get back in the car and endure the long drive home. Although we were looking forward to being back in our own beds we were not looking forward to the bitter cold we had to return to. Hopefully spring will come soon!!

So long Florida....Until next time!!!

A Valentine's Weekend

Happy Valentine's 

I hope that everyone had a fantastic valentine's weekend. Ours was equally fantastic and I had a great time spending it with family, friends and a lot of alone time. 

Friday

Valentine's Day

A clean house

Dinner with my fiance

Bowling

Good times with good friends

Hot tub 

Saturday

Shopping

Outback for lunch

More time with good friends

Sunday

Baby shower

More shopping

Mother/Daughter bonding

Family time

Our steal of the weekend for Bailey! All brand new from target for $14

Bailey playing with her Valentine's stickers 

Weekend Recap....More Like Life Recap

It's been so long since I wrote last time has just flown by and life has been crazy busy with school and work. Last time I wrote I talked about my doctors appointment in which I would undergo surgery for endometriosis. Well I had my surgery a week ago today (last Friday) and it was a lot more complicated than we had anticipated. 

I honestly thought that I had been exaggerating on my pain that I was always experiencing. I thought that I had to exaggerate on it just to get a doctor to go ahead with the surgery and get some answers. I was always hearing Jason tell me that I couldn't take pain or I was a wuss. When my doctor came out to talk to Jason and my mom after my surgery she informed them that it was the worst case of endometriosis that she had ever seen in someone my age. She said she wasnt sure how I was walking around with the pain I was experiencing.  Jason then asked her what my chances of ever getting pregnant would be he knew that was the first thing that I would want to know when waking up. My doctor said that she tried her best to cauterize all of the endometriosis but she suspected that it was growing in my tubes and they were clogged in which there was nothing she could do for that. She informed Jason and my mom that before this surgery I had a zero percent chance of ever getting pregnant and I know only have a 10 percent chance. 

Lets face it this isnt at all what I expected to happen with this surgery. I thought I would go through with it and the problem would be taken care of no more pain all better. I guess that just wasn't the case. Ive had my moments over the past week in which it gets hard for me to think about, I wouldnt wish this on anyone. I have to go back for a follow up appointment in which I will find out what she suggests for my options and course of action to take. It will be a long road and no one said it will be easy but everything will be ok, there's a plan out there for everyone. 

Anyways for the past week I've been taking it easy, I'm finally starting to go stir crazy. The first couple days I was extremely sore and nautious, and no one ever warns you about the gas bubbles that may get stuck in your shoulder which are a pain...literally PAINFUL...but Im healing overall pretty well with my three small incisions and I'll be back to normal activity Monday and back to work!  Goodnight & happy Friday 

My Struggles

Monday was the day that I have been waiting for for a very long time. It was the moment in which determined how my future will help to play out. Monday was the day that I finally had my first OB appointment in which I scheduled over three months ago. NOW before you all get excited and thinking that I am expecting this is NOT true. Let me back track....about a year...

Around a year ago I started experiencing very sharp pains in my lower abdomen. Pain so extreme at times that I find myself laying in bed in the fetal position. At one point in time I had even gone to the emergency room the pain was so bad, unfortunately they didn't even do any tests only sent me home with some medication for the pain. Over the summer I had made a series of appointments with my doctor to address this ongoing pain. The doctor came to the idea that I may have potential endometriosis. She sent me for blood work and an ultrasound all of which came back fine and after that everything came to a halt for a while. 

This past fall I finally decided to make the move and make an apt with an OB whom my mom recommended to me. I had had enough of going in circles with this and I wanted some answers. If you know about endometriosis then you know that there are different spectrums of it. You may have very little of it and have severe pain or you may have a lot it and have very little pain, some women are able to have children, some have difficulties and it may take them years, and other women are unable to have children. There are no real "cures" for this most times doctors will recommend birth control because the hormones can alleviate the pain, but since I have already been on this for several years this is not necessarily an option for me. The only real way to find out if you have this is to have laporscopic surgery in which they may scrape it out and remove it altogether as well. 

Anyways.... I got sick of playing the waiting game. I cant tell you how many the fact of just not knowing got to me and got me down. I wanted answers. I wanted to know if I would ever know what is wrong. I wanted to know if I would have to take motrin forever just to take care of the pain. Jason and I plan on spending the rest of our lives together and I wanted to know if there was a chance that we were ever going to be able to have children together. Do we have a chance at all? Will it be difficult? There was a point in time where I felt he may leave if we couldnt have children, I knew he wanted more, I knew he wanted Bailey to have brothers and sisters. I would get so discouraged that there were girls out there who could get pregnant no problem with people they did not even care about and did not even want the pregnancy. I got upset that people out there could have something so special that they could take for granted so much and here I am not knowing if I may ever have that for myself. 

Monday was a great step in this direction. I found a great doctor who finally understands everything that I am going through. Without a question she set up for me to have the surgery coming up here soon. And with her assurance once she does the surgery it should take care of the problem if not permanently for a while and it will help increase my chances of having babies. I can finally say it's not something that I want to cry about and throw my phone across the room. Instead its something that I can smile about and I cant wait to see what comes next in this long road for me. 

A & J Year 2013

2013 has officially come to a close, its a new year and 2014 has begun. Before I get started on how the past year has gone over for us I'd like to let you all in on our finale of 2013 and our BIG Christmas surprise.....SO EVERYONE....

Yes I said that correctly, Jason asked me to marry him on Christmas day and I of course said YES! We are very thrilled to announce this news and have kept it somewhat on low key only to share with our closest family members and friends first. For all of those who may ask it was not some big event where everyone was there. Instead it was low key, Jason waited until the Christmas festivities had come to a close and we were alone in our home having a heart to heart when he got on one knee and asked me to spend the rest of his life with him being his wife. We are now on our path to wedding planning and it will be a slow one but dont you worry, I will keep everyone updated on everything as it progresses. 

The gorgeous ring ;)

With 2013 at a close Jason and I have been through a lot over the past year as well as I myself. We have known each other for over a year now while dating for less than a year, and I find it amazing at how much a year can change your whole life. I have gone from going through a bad relationship and divorce in the beginning of 2013 to becoming the finance of someone that I truly love and support at the end. I have been through ups as well as downs and I have learned from each and every one of them whether it be good or bad. I have grown as a person 

Our Year In Review:

January through March were hard months for me, I was going through a divorce that I only wanted over. My parents and I were on a rough patch, they didn't know how to talk to me about it and I was only pushing them away more and more on a daily basis. I had Jason on my side there for me to lean on but no one understood that either, I felt alone and lost with no where to go. 

Come spring time things started to get better, Jason had asked me to be his girlfriend at the end of March, I started to gradually get closer with my parents and rebuild burnt bridges. I moved back to my parents and things were still very rough with them, I became close with Jason's family and the took me in as their own family without thinking twice. 

I met Bailey for the first time in April right before my birthday. She instantly stole my heart and I quickly became her "Audi" someone she can play with, laugh with, and cuddle with. From then on we became somewhat of a little family, I looked forward to planning things for us to do on her weekends. We went to the zoo, took Bentley to the park, played outside. 

Things got hard for a while in June, it was hard to watch a family being torn apart, and I found myself brokenhearted as well. We stuck through it as a family and came out on the other side only stronger. 

Jason and I also had quite the summer keeping our relationship growing, everything we do together we manage to have a blast. Some of our highlights for the summer were his birthday, a wedding we went to, three Detroit Tigers games, up north, 4th of July, Silver Lake, and our last trip to Chicago. We have grown closer as a couple as well as have made new lifelong friendships with people. 

Fall was a much smoother transition compared to earlier in the year, Jason changed jobs and I started back up at school. Making time for each other wasn't always easy but we managed to get the job done. We took Bailey Johnson Pumpkin Farm where she picked over all of the pumpkins and saw lots of animals. We also took her to the children's zoo for trick or treating twice. 

These past few months with the holidays have been hectic but they also have been monumental for us as well. Jason has been working non stop with all of the snow that we have gotten lately which makes me feel like a "winter widow" but we secretly love it. After Thanksgiving we moved into our own apartment, I got a big girl job at Morley and finished my fall semester of college. Christmas came and went and we were able to spend it with all of our family as well as seeing Christmas through Bailey's eyes. 

And our big news of the year....WE GOT ENGAGED!! 

It's amazing how one year can have so many up's and down's. 2013 had moments that I will learn from, moments I will not miss, and moments that I will always hold close to my heart. If it wasn't for the down's I may have never got to experience the many up's that we had. We have grown as a couple and as a family. I have grown to be a daughter to the Carlson's as well as Jason has grown to be like a son to my parents. I would not have changed anything over the past year for the world it has helped me develop as a person and I can not wait to see what 2014 has in store for us. 

End Table Makeover

Moving out on our own has been a bit of a challenge financially. With me not really working and Jason in the process of being laid off for the winter we were on a VERY TIGHT budget. With this tight budget I decided to put my pinterest ideas to work and I chose to take what we could get....because lets face it FREE is BEST and beggers can't be choosers...and I decided to try my hand at repurposing old furniture.

Jason's aunt gave us two really old end tables that had seen better days and used my handy work to give them round two at life. 

Here is my step by step instructions and what you will need!

Supplies Used:

your old piece of furniture

Kilz spray primer (approx: 3)

Krylon spray paint (approx 2-3)

~color used khaki gloss~

Behr faux glaze (1 qt can be used for many projects)

Sample of black paint to mix in with your faux glaze

New handles

Step One: Prime entire piece of furniture with kilz primer. We used about two coats just to make sure we covered everything. 

Afterwards let completely dry

Step Two: Use your Krylon spray paint and cover thoroughly we did 2-3 coats. Make sure you let dry in between each coat. 

Step Three: Mix your faux glaze with your sample of black paint into a bowl. Paint on with a brush making sure to get into cracks, this will give the cool effect your looking for. Afterwards wipe off with a damp cloth. By doing so it will leave the faux glaze in the crevices only. 

Let completely dry when finished. 

Here is what our piece looked like afterwards. We added new handles since the ones that came with were junk. We also ended up spraying the tiles on top white. 

A Christmas Recap

Merry Christmas & Happy Holiday's to everyone! I know I have been MIA lately but we finally have the internet up and working over here at our new home. 

I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas and were able to spend it with their loved ones. 

Here's a little recap of our FIRST CHRISTMAS

Santa came to see Bailey 

Bailey opening her presents

It's safe to say that Bailey had a great Christmas, and we had a great first Christmas together as a family. Santa brought Bailey lots of toys some of her favorites including; her doctor kit, Dora legos, play fort tunnel, and a play kitchen with lots of food. Christmas is so much more fun through a child's eyes.

Now that all the madness is over its time to pick up all the pieces and go back to a normal routine. Jason has already returned back to work with the tons of snow we have received all month and I go back to the routine of my new job as well as enjoying my last two weeks off before classes start back up. So I am off to bed to get some rest. Sweet dreams all!!

P.S. I have a BIG Christmas announcement.....COMING SOON!!!! :)

The inconvenience of moving

Have I happened to mention at all how much I HATE HATE HATE moving!? Well I do! Sorry I have not been able to post much lately we still don't have internet, but that will be changing by Thursday! So for now all I have is my phone and it's very hard to blog off of that if you haven't ever tried.  

Our weekend consisted of very little and somewhat boring.

Friday: Dinner. Frankenmuth. Bronners. Family time.

Saturday: Attempted finding a Christmas tree with my family. Jason plowed. Sick baby. PJs all day. 

Sunday: More of Jason plowing. Picked up our couch. Dinner with my parents. 

To sum it all up Jason was out plowing ALOT this weekend since it was continuously snowing- complaining but not at the same time winter and I have a love hate relationship he's gone a lot especially at night or a moments notice but the more it snows the more money brought home. 

While Jason was busy playing in the snow I was home helping take care of Bailey who was sick and still is. I attempted taking her to the tree farm with my family but that didn't go over so well so instead we headed home to put on our fuzzy pjs and watch cartoons and eat soup all day. 

Hopefully I didn't just bore all of you! I hope to be back in action no later than Friday! So see ya then!

P.S. Started my big girl job today! Way to go me

We've Moved!!

Hi all! Sorry it's been so long since I have posted last time has been flying by and we have been super busy over here. Since Thanksgiving we have: moved into our new apartment ( I HATE moving), started getting ready for Christmas, and I finished my classes for the semester. 

This has been my life that past few weeks since right before Thanksgiving. I have been consumed by the four classes that I was taking from doing homework, to writing papers, to finishing projects, and studying for exams. And it feels so great to know I get to say I am DONE! Im sure it will feel even much greater to say I am done completely but were not quite there yet. I am excited to say that I have the next month off and I will be using it to relax and collect myself before I start another long semester.

We received the keys to our new apartment right before Thanksgiving but with the holidays we decided to wait until after to move in. We moved last weekend and now that we are almost settled in we love our new place. Its so much more like home with the four of us in our own space...Jason, Bailey, Bentley, & me. For those of you who don't know before this Jason and I were living at his parents with Bailey when it was his days therefore she always wanted to be with her grandparents and my dog, Bentley, was living at my parents house. I have been creating different home projects for our new place and I will be posting them on here soon!

I also received some great news today, I am now an employee with Morley and I could not be happier!! This is great for especially right before Christmas and I'm happy to say it's my first big girl job but the greatest part is that it will work with me going to school as well.

Happy Thursday everyone!!!

I Am Thankful

I am thankful for so many things each and everyday and although we think about these things the most on Thanksgiving we need to try and remember everything that we are thankful for on a daily basis. 

I enjoyed a great Thanksgiving dinner with my family today. Great and yummy food with some great people and even better pie afterwards...yum I love love love holiday food. After dinner we enjoyed playing a game of phase 10 together and a round of apples to apples. I just love when we can all get along and have a great time. Now Im all snuggled up enjoying my blog while Jason is out salting the roads...making that money!...haha

As a tradition of being thankful I have made a list of things that I have been and am thankful each day this past month. Enjoy!

1. I am thankful for all those who love and support me and have helped me to get through a rough time in my life. You truly find out who is there for you the most when you need them and those who don't judge you at all.

2. I am thankful for my family & the things we are able to do together. My brother was running at MIS for states and it was awesome to be able to watch and do it all together as a family.

3. Today I am thankful for my parents and how accepting they are of Bailey. My mom treats her just as if she is her own grandkid and that makes both Jason and I smile. You can tell my mom looks forward to her weekly visits and the two of them always have huge grins on their faces. 

4. I am thankful that I have been able to go back to school and follow my dreams not everyone gets this opportunity and I am so grateful I have so many people backing me up. 

5. I am so thankful that I have picked someone to spend my life with who gets along so well with my family. He's the one who always wants to go spend time with them and I dont have to push them and its such a great feeling. 

6. Today I am thankful for Bentley, my dog. Dogs are those one things in life that never let you down and can always make you feel better. They love you more than they love themselves and are always there when you need them. 

7. Jason's new job makes me so thankful. I am thankful that he has gotten this new opportunity to advance in his career and the opportunity to make more money and be successful like he wants.

8. I am thankful for my sister, its great to have her in my life. I know we dont always get along in fact we but heads a lot but I know that no matter what we are there for each other and nothing can change her being my sister. 

9. I am thankful for Jason's family and how they accept me as their own and take care of me even when he is out of town. 

10. I am thankful that God has given me such a love and eye for photography. Who would have known that I enjoy it so much that I want it as a career. I love to capture the little moments and look back on those photographs. 

11. Happy Veteran's day! I am thankful for my daddy who has served for our country, it hasn't always been the easiest having him leave us on occasion but he makes me and our family proud. 

12. I am thankful that my boyfriend cares enough to come home and surprise me! Being home alone with out him is no fun I missed him so much and to find out he was home a whole day early even if it was one in the morning makes me so happy!

13. I am thankful for the life that God has given me, sometimes we overlook everything and we become ungrateful but just remember all the good things you have and how fortunate you are to have a roof over your head and food to eat.

14. Today I am thankful for the love and support that I receive from everyone around me. 

15. Today I am thankful for my fuzzy pjs and lots of warm blankets and a TV of  ON DEMAND just full of things for me to watch. Sometimes its just nice to stop the craziness of always running around and just cuddle up and have a lazy day.

16. I am thankful for our little family. Today we went to take pictures and although Bailey struggled with her smile we were able to get some great shots that we will be able to look back on for a long time. 

17. Today I am thankful for the amount of time we get to spend together doing all sorts of things. Our trip to Bronners today was much needed get out of the house time, and Im so glad we were able to spend it with friends who share so much in common with us. 

18. I am thankful that I have the energy and motivation on Mondays to get up and out of bed and to make it to class all day long. Some days are better than others but I just have to remember the long term goal and that this will all pay off.

19. Today I am thankful for the love that a little girl named Bailey gives me. 

20. I am thankful for my cosmetology license and the fact that I had people who supported me through the whole process. I know it was a far fetched idea when I first suggested going to school but my family stood behind me and I found something that I love to do that I would have never known had I not tried.

21. I am thankful that Jason works so hard for us, I feel awful sometimes that I cant contribute as much as I want to he understands that I am going to school and trying to concentrate on that as much as I can. 

22. Today I am thankful for Jason's mom, she treats me as her own daughter and sometimes we have the best days together, just like today taking Bailey out shopping and just spending the day out and about.

23. I am thankful for our great friends that we have, they know just how to have a good time with us and its awesome to have people who understand what you go through and who are on the same level as you. 

24.I am thankful for our Sunday family dinner that we have at my parents house every Sunday night. Its great to make sure we get together and catch up on what has gone on during the week. I look forward to it every week and I always know Ill have that one home cooked meal. 

25. Thanksgiving break woohoo!! I am thankful for almost being done with this semester only two weeks left and I am still hanging in there. 

26. I am thankful for the keys to our new apartment that we received today. It has been a long time coming but were here and Im excited to start the next chapter of our lives.

27. I am thankful for my "little shadow" and how she always wants to do things with me. She can be a handful at times but when she's being sweet like tonight when she let me give her a bath and play with her toys it makes up for all the other times she's screaming "go away!" 

28. I am thankful for my amazing boyfriend, Jason James Carlson, words can not describe how much I appreciate you. A year ago we met and although it was under such strange circumstances you stuck by my side as a friend and you never gave up on being there for me. You mean the world to me and I am so glad that our friendship has turned into much much more. 

Canvas Painting

I found this painting on pinterest and decided to give it a try for myself! 

I love being able to make stuff for the house & not spend alot as well as have the satisfaction that I did it all on my own!

{Pinterest original}

Supplies Needed:

a blank canvas (whatever size you want for your home)

acrylic paints (about 6) 

paint brushes

painters tape

Paint as desired all over canvas blending your colors together

afterwards let dry

After drying place painters tape in chevron pattern

this may take a little time to master

dont worry its ok to take off and redo!

Once tape is placed on paint entire canvas with white paint

afterwards let dry completely!

Once dry peel off all painters tape

And this is your end result!!

I cant wait to place this on our walls somewhere